How to Get to Sesame Street

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street

Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet

Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street

It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To Happy people like you--
Happy people like
What a beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame street...

How to get to Sesame Street

How to get to...

How to Hang a Warhol

Mama someday you'll be so proud of me
You'll see me hangin in a New York gallery
Someday I'm gonna drop from my left side of my brain
People are gonna ask "Is it brilliant o plain?"

But as long as I don't know
how to hang a Warhol
I'll keep sketching birds
that are all I've heard of
very simple and true
Like you know you do-do
And if you like em yeah
But if you don't it's not bad
Cause I don't really care

Said Papa someday might write a symphony
forty-eight piece and all dress up like me
I say I'll write someday the satyrs of old songs
I'm gonna chill the marrow in their bones

But as long as I can't get
into Carnegie Hall
I'll keep writing them songs
That are all mine
Very simple and dumb
Like I've always have done
And if you like em yeah
But if you don't it's too bad
Cause it's all I have
ever since I met her
I keep thinking "God,
how great it is to play a guitar"
This way I feel
that she's always with me
Cause every other song's
telling me that this time
Is about our love

How to be Invisible

I found a book on how to be invisible
Take a pinch of keyhole
And fold yourself up
You cut along a dotted line
You think inside out
And you're invisible

Eye of Braille
Hem of anorak
Stem of wallflower
Hair of doormat

I found a book on how to be invisible
On the edge of the labyrinth
Under a veil you must never lift
Pages that you must never turn
In the labyrinth
You stand in front of a million doors
And each one holds a million more
Corridors that lead to the world
Of the invisible
Corridors that twist and turn
Corridors that blister and burn

Eye of Braille
Hem of anorak
Stem of wallflower
Hair of doormat
Is that the wind from the desert song?
Is that the autumn leaf falling?
Or is that you walking home?

Is that the wind from the desert song?
Is that the autumn leaf falling?
Or is that you walking home?
Is that a storm in the swimming pool?

You take a pinch of keyhole
And fold yourself up
You cut along a dotted line
You think inside out
You jump 'round three times
You jump into the mirror
And you're invisible

How to be Dumb

I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration
While you were living like a saint
And all the time the very one you trusted was washing off
somebody else's paint

Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation
Every fleeting thought is a pearl
And beautiful people stampede to the doorway
of the funniest fucker in the world

They're here to help you
Satisfy your desire
There's a bright future for all you professional liars

Now you know how to be dumb
Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of our mistakes?
Don't you know how to be dumb?
Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes

They emptied out all the asylums, they emptied out all the gaols
The "New Bruise" was the name of a dance craze
By "Jesus Cross and the Cruel Nails"
Followed up by "Torturing Little Beaver"
With their contraption of barbed wire
Between the fear and the fever lies all the rejection they require
They'll be howling by midnight, they'll be drooling by dawn
Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains
Heads shaven and shorn

Trapped in the House of the Perpetual Sucker
Where bitterness always ends so pitifully
You always had to dress up your envy in some half-remembered
philosophy

Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
Whose ever bad intention has been purged
You could've walked out any time you wanted but face it you
didn't have the courage
I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite or some kind of
twisted dilettante
Funny though people don't usually get so ugly 'til they think
they know what they want
Scratch your own head stupid
Count up to three
Roll over on your back
Repeat after me

Don't you know how to be dumb?
Are you ready to take your place in the modern museum of our mistakes?
Don't you know how to be dumb?
Like a building thrown up overnight in one of those reverse earthquakes

How to Make a Love Song

The first part of this song, I guess
Should start with something sweet
Cause love songs often do,
And you know me, I'm such a geek
For songs that I could sing to you
And I'm hoping this could be one
And I hope that you would like me
Este... like it when I'm done

The second part is easy
To mess up with something cheesy
So I better choose my words
Cause I don't want it to be mushy
Cause that's the thing with love songs
And that is the tricky part
It's hard not to sound corny
When you're singing from the heart

And when the chorus comes,
I must come up with something clever
For you it's just a love song
But for me it's now or never!
And though I tried my best to make it beautiful and true
I could never make a song as beautiful as you

And when the chorus comes again,
Again I must say something clever
Cause for you it's just a love song
But for me it's now or never!
And though I tried my best to make it beautiful and true
I could never make a song as beautiful as you
I could never make a love song as beautiful as you

How to Grow a Woman from the Ground

Caught a string full of fish
Down by the dam
I'll drag 'em back to the field
They should be dead by then
Wipe the sweat of my neck
And tally-ho to the plow
I'm gonna grow a woman from the ground

The night was a chalkboard
With a fingernail moon
The fish ain't dead yet
Well they will be pretty soon
It's kinda like feeling in an old folks home
Even though you love them,
You can't wait for them to go

I'll call her Angelina
She's a teacher I once had
A halo of honey wrapped around her head
And she always used to give me some,
When I was a kid
I told her that I loved her and then I went and hid

I'll take you into town and I will show you off
There's room on your dress for a corsage
And I'll open every door for you

Mmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
Mmm, hmm, hmm, hmm

Opened up my almanac
And in my mind I read
"Cut your wrists on the fins of the fish and drain all you can"
So I rolled up my sleeves and then began to draw
Lines just as deep as days are long

I sewed up my wrists and sowed the ground with my blood
Stained up my clothes pretty good and I turned that dirt to mud
I could not help but close my eyes and lay my body down
Cause I heard it takes forever to grow a woman from the ground

And I bleed for you now and I'm skinny as a rail
I'll be so obliged to keep you nice and warm and safe
Oh, and won't you be so proud of me

Mmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
Mmm, hmm, hmm, hmm

How to Handle a Woman

How to handle a woman,
There's a way said a wise old man,
A way know by every woman,
Since the whole rigmarole began!

Do I flatter her, I begged him answer,
Do I threaten or cajole or plea,
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?
Said he, smiling, "No, indeed!"

"How to handle a woman,
Mark me well, I will tell you sir!
The way to handle a woman,
Is to love her, simply love her,
Merely love her, love her,
Love her!"

How to Dream

Ah... Ah... Ah Ahhh Ah Ahhh
When we open our eyes and dream
We open our eyes

Ah... Ah... Ah Ahhh Ah Ahhh
When we open our eyes and dream
We open our eyes

Under normal, we change the wind
Facing every direction
Planted in the future, we live two lives
All to reveal a secret we can't hide

Ah... Ah... Ah Ahhh Ah Ahhh
When we open our eyes and dream
We open our eyes

Ah... Ah... Ah Ahhh Ah Ahhh
When we open our eyes and dream
We open our eyes
We search the sky, planets chasing the stars
Pulling toward deep affection
Weights and numbers measure a wound that won't heal
All to reveal a secret we can't hide

Ah... Ah... Ah Ahhh Ah Ahhh
When we open our eyes and dream
We open our eyes

Ah... Ah... Ah Ahhh Ah Ahhh
When we open our eyes and dream
We open our eyes

How to Explain

When a room becomes an altar
and what beast that must exist
it flies with music from our lips
and steals a kiss and blows it
out into the mist
where castles stand on cliffs
and cobbled streets they wind and drift
and moods are made and set but shift
this place where skies are low
and birds are big

We went to sleep in day
and woke again the same day
we have learned to cheat the time
and find the hours
that the clocks cannot define
as I looked up from that stage
I felt the thing that had been made
And how it raged
And how it raged

How to explain?
Something makes me howl
and shiver to the core
ah outside if it was raining
then inside there'd be a storm
we've got a pair of hands for climbing
and a pair of knees to spring
and a pair of balls for strength

and a pair of lungs to sing
and these simple chords
that say: music is the language of us all

To write these songs is to be written
ah the chorus always knows
what is in store
and what is more the thing that sings us
is the thing that makes us roar
I felt that beast 'kisso my neck
we clapped our hands
and heard them spread
there was a trumpet and a call
a pack of Spaniards screamed for more
music is the language of us all
music is the language of us all
music is the language of us all
music is the language of us all

I find it hard to speak emotional
cos these things are the things that
can't be said
and when it's struck it strikes
the memory from our heads
once I wrote to play's
to be immortal for a night
and despite the unknown hours
something happens
when the light turns out the lights
then we fade and yawn
to music that's the language of us all

How to Make Gravy

Hello Dan, it's Joe here
I hope you're keeping well
Its the 21st of December
now theyre ringing the last bell
if I get good behaviour
I'll be out of here by July
Won't you kiss my kids on Christmas day

Please don't let them cry for me

I guess the brothers are driving down from Queensland and Stella's
flying in from the coast
They say it's gonna be a hundred degrees, even more maybe, but that
won't stop the roast

Who's gonna make the gravy now?
I bet it won't taste the same

Just add flour, salt, a little red wine and don't forget a dollop of
tomato sauce for sweetness and that extra tang

And give my love to Angus and to Frank and Dolly,
Tell 'em all I'm sorry I screwed up this time
And look after Rita, I'll be thinking of her early Christmas morning
When I'm standing in line

I hear Mary's got a new boyfriend, I hope he can hold his own
Do you remember the last one? What was his name again?
(Just a little too much cologne)

And Roger, you know I'm even gonna miss Roger
'Cause there's sure as hell no one in here I want to fight

Oh praise the Baby Jesus, have a Merry Christmas,
I'm really gonna miss it, all the treasure and the trash
And later in the evening, I can just imagine,
You'll put on Junior Murvin and push the tables back
And you'll dance with Rita, I know you really like her,
Just don't hold her too close, oh brother please don't stab me in the
back

I didn't mean to say that, it's just my mind it plays up,
Multiplies each matter, turns imagination into fact
You know I love her badly, she's the one to save me,
I'm gonna make some gravy, I'm gonna taste the fat
Tell her that I'm sorry, yeah I love her badly, tell 'em all I'm
sorry,
And kiss the sleepy children for me
You know one of these days, I'll be making gravy,
I'll be making plenty, I'm gonna pay 'em all back.

How to Destroy a Relationship

What I thought would never come has come
I wished that I could say I dit it cause I was young
No even now, it's just bad, I'm done
The sweet ropes have come undone

I don't want
Something's gone
Something's wrong with me

Baby I've never been very good at anything
We could keep talking
I am simply walking out that door

Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde,
dance around in my insides
Don't you see I can't look in your eyes
I'm just scared you see the lies

I don't want
Something's gone
Something's wrong with me

Did I hurt someone?
Something's gone,
Something's wrong with me

How to be a Millionaire

I've seen the future, I can't afford it
Tell me the truth sir, someone just bought it
Say mr. whispers! Here come the click of dice
Roulette and blackjacks - gonna build us a paradise
Larger than life and twice as ugly
If we have to live there, you'll have to drug me

Maybe these luxuries can only compensate
For all the cards you were dealt at the hands of fate

So tell me
Tell me! tell me! How to be a millionaire
Tell me! tell me! How to be a millionaire!
Millionaire! Billionaire! Trillionaire!

Hardly surprising if you might consider
Loyalties go to the highest of bidders
What's my opinion? I'd give you ten to one
Give me a million, a franchise on fun
But there are millions who often get nowhere
And there's just one secret I think you should share

Maybe these luxuries can only compensate
For all the cards you were dealt at the hands of fate

So tell me
Tell me! tell me! How to be a millionaire
Tell me! tell me! How to be a millionaire!
Who wants to be millionaire?

I do! - I don't! - I do!
Who wants to be millionaire?
I do! - I don't!

I've seen the future and I can't afford it

How to Take a Fall

It's when we're cover to cover
It's an endless fuse
Chain-led peter never seems to get any smarter

I'm always marking pages so
That I don't get confused
End up in a fight I never had any part of

Listen naïve plaything
Coming over, clueless
Every time you call
An accident just waiting to happen
Still hasn't failed out
How to take a fall

Make me a present
Make it something sweet
Small enough to go unnoticed and big enough to complete

What does a massive pass that keeps
Blocking up my street
Looking for a new contender to disassemble

Listen naïve plaything
Coming over, clueless
Every time you call
An accident just waiting to happen
Still hasn't failed out
How to take a fall
How to take a fall
How to take a fall

How to Build a Time Machine

If I have understood correctly
Velocity equals the distance traveled
Divided by time
I've read every word ever printed
On quantum physics
And now it is time to try
I read your book, I found your notes
I dusted this thing off and turned on
The key
The rumbling motors
The buzzing incredible gadgets
The hissing electricity
And now the moment has come
I'm traveling back in time

They're running down the hall
I've started the countdown
They want me to stop
But I don't think so
I'm ready to go
Let's get the job done

Beyond the paradoxical
All the lights are dazzling
Pass the planes, and trains, and satellite navigation
Pass the time I spent today
Through the nearest wormhole
In a stunning ball
Of white
The light explodes and lands on you

And you're five
Always running away
And I was dying to kiss you
And I
I don't want to cry
I don't want to see
Where the moving van takes you
So I travel on
Beyond the stars
At one hundred and eighty-six thousand miles per second
I can fly
Forward a few years
To nineteen hundred and seventy nine
I caught a glimpse of the sky

They're coming down the road
They're coming to get me
I never should have come
I hide the time machine
I'm running down the hall
I think I'm in my old house

Pass the place where I grew up
Number nine Lake Road
Pass the swimming pool
And Mabel Park
And past Troy Clifford's house
To the Argonaut
To the fish and chip shop
Out the back and down the road
To the place I got beat up

Hey, put that rock down
Can't you see he's half your size?
Hey, he looks familiar
Oh my god, he's me, age nine

Put your shoes on
And run away from here
I can't get involved
This is all so weird
I'm meeting myself
This is all so clear

All the things I've lost
All the people I've hurt
All the times I lied
All the moments wasted
All I never did
All the dreams I had
All the things I would change
I can change them

All the things I've lost
All the people I've hurt
All the times I lied
All the moments wasted

I'm gonna make right
What I did wrong
And change how the future has come
Through appliance of science
I'll take a hold of my enemies
Take their obscenities
Kiss them, and leave them like lovers who've gone
I'll call my dad
I'll tell him I miss him
And tell my reflection: 'it's not your fault'
And now the moment has come
I'm traveling back in time

They're running down the hall
I've started the countdown
They want me to stop
But I don't think so
I'm ready to go
Let's get the job done

Put your shoes on and
Run away from here
I can't get involved
This is all so weird [It's me aged nine]
Let's get the job done

All the things I've lost
All the people I've hurt
All the times I lied
All the moments wasted
All I never did
All the dreams I had
All the things I would change
I can change them

Beyond the paradoxical
All the lights are dazzling
Pass the planes, and trains, and satellite navigation
Pass the time I spent today
Through the nearest wormhole
In a stunning ball
Of white
The light explodes into another moment

How to Say Goodbye

Living isn't quite the same
You said to me, it's runnin' away.
If you're scared or tired of what you're scared of
Why should you stay
You love to say goodbye
And always counted all the time
'til he was free
to get up and leave
to learn how to breathe
again...

Slippin' out to have a cigarette
with someone else that he'd never met
Ask her if by the way would you like to
run away and try to forget
Just not to stay
To leave without saying why

To get up and go
To catch the last train
To get in some car and drive out again
To never come back this way
Left to say:

goodbye
so long
farewell
au revoir

goodbye
so long
farewell
au revoir

How to be Dead

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking the and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride

How to Disappear Completely

That there, that's not me
I go where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah, it's gone

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here....

How to Save a Life

Step one, you say, We need to talk
He walks, you say, Sit down, it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

How to Live Alone

Simple breeze and you might blow away
Simple things you never share
So you don't decide and everything is temporary
A life without the benefit of tears

I'm holding on
I'm holding on
Let me let go
I need to love someone

Keep a foot out of the blacker end
Keep away the crush of years
But we prayed too hard and everything was ordinary
A life without the bitterness of years

I'm holding on
I'm holding on
Let me let go
I need to love someone

Be forgotten
Be forgotten

How to live alone, a still and simple life
How to live alone while everyone's
Da, da, da, da... da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da... da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da... da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da...

I'm holding on
I'm holding on
Let me let go
I need to love
Da, da, da, da

I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on

How to Fight Loneliness

How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine you teeth til meaningless
Sharpen them with lies

And whatevers going down
Will follow you around
Thats how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
Thats how you fight it

Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time